You’re Killin’ Me – Email us!
You’re Killin’ Me…
As I reluctantly said (with a mostly poised demeanor) to the lady working at Ross who mixed up my “to buy” and “to return” clothes piles—“You’re killin’ me, lady.” Yes, you, too—“You’re killin’ me, man,” and I can’t wait to explain why. I’ve noticed a trend over the past few months that has me baffled and frankly frustrated to the utmost.
I think it’s generally assumed that our readers dream of getting their trucks featured in magazines like 8-Lug. Now, that’s not to toot our own horn, as we’re just a humble little magazine trying to entertain our loyal readers the best we can. The point is, there are far more cool trucks out there than there is space to cover them in all print magazines combined. Your truck may be a big fish in a small pond, but collectively, there are certainly tons of big and small ponds full of big and small fish of all sorts from which to choose. Hence, securing feature real estate is statistically possible but not probable for most.
Most won’t even try. Now, that’s the biggest shame to me. I’m not always looking for the biggest, bling-iest, most over-the-top trucks. I want a variety, and you just may have what we’re looking for, much to your surprise. You must think I’m joking when I say submit your truck to firstname.lastname@example.org for a chance to get into Bragging Rights, or when I say email me some pictures and specs to email@example.com of your potential feature. You won’t do it. Yeah, I said it. You won’t. You say it’s a dream, yet you won’t take the time to get some good photos and put together a comprehensive, understandable, complete list of specs. You must not believe I actually check my email—that I actually check the 8-Lug Facebook page messages all the time. Some editors may envision themselves as untouchable, that “hey look at my truck” emails would somehow inconvenience them during their big, important days as big, important editors. (Why they gotta be like that?) Well, that’s not me. I just happened to be at the right place at the right time, and it still blows my mind that I play with trucks for a living. All readers matter, and all trucks matter. Some guys build trucks for a living, and some can’t wait until they can afford some aftermarket taillights (which then get stolen—wait, that was me!). All budgets are different, and all builds are different. That’s the beauty of it.
So, moving on. Some that are brave enough to pursue a feature really do get the thumbs-up, and then, it’s like a major case of brain freeze hits. Like a high school guy trying to secure a prom date with a hot chick, the words just don’t come out, as reflected by some of the tech sheets (basically questionnaires about truck parts/mods) I see. And that’s when I say, “You’re killin’ me, man.” When the big opportunity hits, we suddenly can’t get any information out of you. When we want to know every detail of your truck and the buildup process, you suddenly go brain dead and forget to mention the, ahem, coolest mods on your ride. You suddenly give yes and no answers to questions you should be able to talk about forever. It must be nerves or something, because it happens a lot, to a lot of you. Or is it carelessness? Or do you think we’re mind readers and you just assume we should already know about the hidden gems on your truck? Let me give you a hint: The more information you give us, the better feature we can write. And it really helps if it’s mostly legible, you chicken-scratch pros. Yikes, it’s like you fill out the info while riding an old wooden roller coaster. I know, my hand cramps nowadays while using a traditional ink pen, too. Here’s all I ask: At least put in as much effort as you would a forum thread or a daily Facebook update about your truck. If I can go on Facebook or Instagram and find out more about your truck than I can from a tech sheet, something is wrong. That’s just crazy to me.
Think of it this way: How dare you squander the opportunity to give your hard work and beautiful truck the justice they deserve. How dare you shortchange our publication by withholding information that would make for a richer feature. How dare you slack off when others out there are just dreaming of giving an A+ effort.
Now, who’s in? Who’s actually going to email firstname.lastname@example.org expecting a response? It’s your turn. I dare you, sparkly fishes both big and small…