By G.R. Whale
An inordinate number of celebrities are making the news and, with one exception (and that's a local celebrity), primarily for the wrong reasons.
That exception? Kewaskum, Wisconsin Police Chief Richard Knoebel. He didn't see (or stop for) a school bus stopped on the other side of a four-lane highway with its lights flashing, and ticketed himself. He paid $235 and accrued four points.
Out in California, where celebrities and those seeking fame wreck Enzos on a regular basis, an off-duty California Highway Patrolman crashed his Ferrari Testarossa. He and his passenger paid with their lives.
Prior to release of the official report, speed was cited as a potential factor. The Testarossa was going fast enough to shear a telephone pole and move a boulder, and the skidmarks were longer than any I've left brake testing from 55 mph. My interpretation is the left-bend leading into a downgrade abruptly transitioned the car to oversteer; it went left off the road. I'm not certified in accident reconstruction, yet I know from experience the handling dynamics of a Ferrari Testarossa differ from those of a Crown Victoria. The sad irony here is the prancing-horse Testarossa crashed into a celebrity's corral.
According to the CHP Web site, academy recruits receive a minimum of 29 hours lecture and 16 hours hands-on driver training, about what you get in a good driving school--except the CHP generally uses front-engine, rear- or four-wheel-drive vehicles that understeer.
Across the country, unbelted front passenger New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine was hospitalized after his SUV's passenger's side hit the Golden State Parkway center guardrail. An aide traveling with him walked into a hospital unassisted, and the trooper driving was flown to a hospital with unspecified injuries.
According to N.J. State Police Colonel Fuentes, a pickup erratically entered from the shoulder, causing another pickup to swerve left, and the governor's driver tried (unsuccessfully) to avoid that truck. Fuentes noted that weather and speed weren't factors and the trooper driving did an excellent job handling the situation. The majority of reports issued in following days put the governor's SUV at 91 mph--in federal terms, that would be a contributing factor. He was speeding because he was running late to get to a meeting--was a conference with radio man Don Imus and a Rutgers basketball team worth it?
New Jersey's Web site lists the required training for marked troop transport as 21 hours on a driving course, six hours of "defensive driving" classroom instruction, and demonstrated proficiency. The SUV's handling dynamics were likely similar to a patrol car's, although it may have had ESP, a feature that might not be on the training cars. While I can't say why this accident happened, it's safe to say the governor's injuries would be much less severe had he been belted up. He paid a nominal fine and covered his hospital bills, apologized, and taped a public-service announcement.
Shortly thereafter, morning television celebrity Matt Lauer, who earlier had questioned Corzine about not wearing a belt, was taped riding in a vehicle (reportedly at speeds up to 65 mph) without a seatbelt. Even though New Hampshire has no seatbelt law, Lauer did concede he should've set a better example.
Back to California, where State Senator Carole Migden rear-ended a car stopped at a red light--it was her second accident that day. Her office statement said she took her eyes off the road when her cell-phone rang--oops! After that, the taxpayer-paid Highlander Hybrid needed some repairs. In the senate, she voted for legislation to ban cell-phone use while driving, but it wasn't law at the time of her incident. The CHP is recommending a reckless-driving charge.
Celebrities set bad examples, too, much to the chagrin of the prestige car companies. Manufacturers can't control who buys and drives their product--or how--and must remain indifferent to avoid frivolous litigation. Only occasionally is it positive news because their product saved someone's life.
Lindsay Lohan's $190,000 600-plus-horsepower SL is fast becoming the latest Hollywood landscape accessory. With local bars questioned about serving a minor and cocaine allegedly found in the car, this can hardly be any fault of Mercedes-Benz, yet there's Benz's car, front and center on the news.
These stories are everywhere. Multiple celebs have been in accidents, some of them involving fatalities, behind the wheel of another prestige brand. Any implication of alcohol or substance abuse has been ruled out in one, but the specter of a manslaughter charge remains. In another crash that killed a passenger, reports say the driver forwarded repair receipts to authorities outlining alignment (a pull to one side) and brake issues. If your vehicle's alignment and brakes are so bad you cross a substantial median strip and hit a tree, maybe you should use that celebrity money and rent a car or hire a limo.
And we can't forget Bentley-babe Paris Hilton. After a misdemeanor DUI last year (spotted "driving erratically" and blew a 0.08), she avoided the maximum six months in jail. But she couldn't keep out of trouble on probation. Despite being told by more than one agency that she wasn't allowed to drive and even though she has enough money to buy any college she could get into, apparently Paris couldn't read for herself, violated probation, and got busted again. When the recidivist was sentenced to jail, mother Kathy Hilton walked out saying, "I can't believe all the money we spent on this."
Whatever happened to the glamorous portraits of Hollywood elite posing with their Duesenbergs and Rolls-Royces?
Unfortunately these "celebrities" are learning the hard way that money, authority, or experience are no replacement for common sense. And it's the car companies, and you and I, who'll keep paying for it.