Our long-term CR-V reported to our H.Q. in time for the January 2008 issue. We got acquainted with it during its "arrival" interview. In a year's time, the staff has appreciated its charms. So now we present its last hurrah.
Motor Trend: Well, CR-V, it appears you've got one year and 21,427 miles under your belt. You know what that means, right?
CR-V: It's time to go back to Honda in Torrance, I know. My job here is over. I'm going to miss you guys, though. Geez, just when I thought I found a place where I really belonged.
Motor Trend: Let's not get emotional, shall we? It's policy that we ask you a few questions before you go. For starters, when you rolled into our garage, you had a sticker price of $28,595. Correct?
Motor Trend: And as you leave, your three-year residual value is, ahhh let's see, $16,288. That's a decent residual value by our reckoning. Between arriving and leaving, it says here that you burned 987 gallons of gas, equating to an average mileage of 21.7 mpg. Pretty much spot-on with the EPA's combined mpg projection of 22. And well within our mileage allowance. We like that. You were serviced twice as per your own computer's scheduling, with the pair of visits totaling $488.97. By the way, how do you know when you need servicing?
CR-V: It's hard to describe. I just get a feeling. It starts with a little indigestion in the oil filter. That's when I blink the light on.
Motor Trend: Ooo-kay. Still, that $488.97 number seems little high, doesn't it? Runaway automotive health care costs are a problem these days. Can you justify these expenditures?
CR-V: The first one only cost $52.42; oil change, tire rotation. Nothing extravagant.
Motor Trend: And the second time?
CR-V: You've got the paper right there.
Motor Trend: I know I've got the paper right here. We're asking you: What did you do with the other $436.55? Accounting is questioning this-oil, oil filter, windshield air cleaner, air conditioner's pollen filter replaced, differential serviced-$436.55? I see you made a trip to Las Vegas around that time.
CR-V: Meaning what!
Motor Trend: Don't get excited. Just seems like a lot of money, that's all. We'll let it slide. After all, a car like you, what with a "pollen filter" and your looks, well, you probably don't meet a lot of cars outside the office.
CR-V: I'm not a car. I'm a crossover. And what (gulp) is in that file of yours about my looks?
Motor Trend: Mr. CR-V, we're a non-discriminatory workplace. However you need to know we've had a few complaints about your appearance. For instance, one driver said-and I quote-"The basic package is nice, but it has some dorky styling details. The bulges on the back deck, pointy at each end, serve no purpose other than as a styling touch. The front end looks as if it has an oxygen breather stuffed up its nose." An unsolicited comment. We have standards for appearance around here, you know.
CR-V: Stop, stop. Do I have to listen to this? Just because I have only 166 horsepower doesn't mean you can push me around.
Motor Trend: Hey, just saying you have an unorthodox presentation. Between us-nobody's listening-did your parents have what you might call, er, a "solid" marriage?
CR-V: All right, after Dad left for work, sometimes our groceries were delivered by a Kaiser-Fraser. Understand?